‘Major , Global Health Scare In Zimbabwe’.

Zimbabwe is on the brink of total collapse, after a secretary , Grace’ was infected with an incurable sexually transmitted infection (STI), through office DICKTATION from her boss ‘Robert’. Henceforth, leadership will now be recognised as an STI after the boss infected his secretary, now wife and mother of his children with the ‘disease’..

In other news. Russian scientists are working on a pill that will allow people to live up to 120 years of age. As soon as the Zimbabwe delegation at the Paris Climate Conference (COP21) received the news, the globetotter Vas Coda Mugabe’s next visit to Zimbabwe, was rescheduled to a week later than the conference end, in order to allow the despot to fly to Russia for a ten year prescription of the drug, which will enable him to comfortably stand in the 2018 ballot and rule until he is 120 years old. For more news, updates will be released as and when received by Sibusiso Ngwenya,

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